News n jail breaks

After the Tihar jail break, as the Delhi police teams try to trace the whereabouts of Mr Javed, superintendent of Jail 2 Mr. M. K. Dwivedi is still wondering "Hamari jail mein surung?" :O :|

Gay marriages - A Right !!

... Le Me to my Mommy : Wow Mom ! Same sex marriages are finally legal in US. This is a huge step towards a free and liberated human society. And it sure calls for a celebration.

Le My Momma : You first take a decision about ur marriage. And then celebrate about that. And please marry a guy for God's sake.. :|

#MomsAlwaysNailIt

No no no school please

A new bag, a new uniform, diligently pressed, a new set of pens and pencils, scales, erasers, geometry box.. a new school teacher, some old some new friends, a new resolve, a new schedule... School reopening marks the beginning of many new such things... Mothers and Fathers dropping of their kids at school or helping them board buses...

So while I was just sitting in the window yesterday, I saw this Father coming to help his daughter board her school bus... It was her very first bus ride ever to school... I could very clearly see the tear in the Father's eyes as his daughter howled at the top of her voice... 3 years of being together... Days spent in her Father's arms.. suddenly when her Father is letting her go she might have some feelings like these inside her.... 

" Why are you tying my shoe laces so tight Papa? Why are you giving me such a heavy bag? I don't want the new dress I was troubling you for..I swear on God that I won't nag... 

I hate to go away from you Papa, 
Why can't you see?
Am I such a burden Papa,
you want to set yourself free?

Why did you give me so much love Papa,
Just to become such a hard stone?
In a place full of strangers, they look at me with questions, 
If you just had to leave me like this alone? 

I hate to be away from Mum, 
And I know so does she...
Then why isn't she stopping you Papa,
Why can't she see?

I will be a good baby Papa,
Give me little time,
I will brush my teeth on time Papa,
And I will sing all the new rhymes

Oh ! Look the school bus is nearing us,
No, no, no Papa,
Please listen to me, don't do this to us...

Did I just see a tear in your eyes Papa?
So you also don't want me to go,
but you are still doing this Papa,
Why, please let me know!

Oh ! I remember you told me last night Papa,
That you want me to grow,
You want me to see this world and you want me to flow,

Like a river, whose destinations are infinite,
You want me to look at the world,
With new eyes and new mind,
You want me to unfurl...

I know you are hurt more than me Papa,
I can hear your heart beating loud,
And if you are doing all this for me Papa,
Then I also want to make you proud...

No matter how hard it is for both of us Papa,
I will do what you want me to,
Tell Mum that I will soar the skies exactly the way she wants,
And learn everything new.

As I board the bus, I see your tear drop, right on your cheek, it slides in invisibility,
And I know that you will follow my bus with your bike, 
Till you see me inside the school all hale and hearty,

Oh ! You love me so much Papa,
I swear I love you too,
Wait for me till the evening,
For me to come back and hug you... "

Mother's Day

My mommy asked me a few days back, why is being a mother so hyped these days? She said "I am a mother since so long but I don't remember doing anything abnormal. Suddenly we have a Mother's day, a Matru Din, so many posts asking to be shared if you love your Mother. What is such a big deal about being a Mother?" I stared at her for about a minute trying to understand her question. Is she trying to tell me that being a Mother is a piece of cake? Did she just ask me why her role is being worshipped?

Uhh !! Naah !! My Mom isn't that naive. She is my Mom. There has to be something hidden in these questions. A hint of sarcasm ? A different question altogether? Before answering I thought I better read between the lines once. So I thought about an apt response, but you got to be careful when it is my Mom. So i decided to answer it with another question. Reverse psychology. I asked her, "Does it make you uncomfortable to be put in the place of Gods? Does it not make you proud of the fact that your work is being recognized finally?" Her answer left me short of all the words in the world.

She said, "Let us leave aside the days and all. For me my Mother is my responsibility till the end of my life. But you guys today, after an age, decide that your life is your own. You fly away to foreign countries to never come back. You leave your parents and shift to a different house because you think, we are an intrusion in your life. Do you seriously think we mean to intrude? I mean, weren't we who brought you in this world? So technically, weren't you who came as an intrusion in our lives in the first place? Of course we don't think about you that way. But then its just that considering this can't we have any say in your life? I understand that we get too touchy about certain things. Too emotional and even possessive at times. But don't you also get emotional and possesive for your boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses and every other individual that you like in the course of your life? Isn't it just fair if we feel the same for someone who has been our flesh and blood? Why does it then irritate you so much? And why are we thrown out of the houses when we need you the most? We taught you to walk, talk, learn, count, eat, laugh. We felt ten times more pain than you when it hurt you. We gave you all that we could even when we couldn't afford that. We gave up all that we loved just to make you smile. You kicked us, hurt us. But we stayed on. To get thrown out from your lives one day, when you find someone who would mean more than us to you. Why? And then you celebrate these days." Dumbfounded. I couldn't react. Then she said, "Don't you worry. I have saved enough for myself so that when I am old and cranky, I don't become a burden on you." And she just walked away. Well !! Stunned !!

Today I want to reply to all that, "Mamma, I don't know why did you even think like that. I don't know about others. But for me leaving you was NEVER an option. No matter how many relations come and go in my life. No matter how much cranky you get. No matter how many fights we have. No matter how many times you and me shout at each other. No matter anything in this world. You will always be with me. You have saved the money thinking I would leave you someday and you would have to take care of yourself. Now use the same money to splurge. Ask me for more if you want. Whatever you missed when you were young and I was your responsibility, do all of that. Wear funky clothes. Party hard. Pamper yourself. Love yourself. Travel the world. Go crazy. Let me hold you going forward in this journey of life. Let me love you with the same passion with which you have loved me till date. Give me all your sorrows and tensions and just go back to when you were a baby. I promise that even if you get on my nerves, I will not leave you. Ever. My life is your gift and its my time to give you all that back. I love you." Happy Mother's Day my Love.

Movie review - NH10

Burn a woman and you burn only her.. burn someone she loves and she will show you what raising hell is, what burning into ashes is. One movie that has depicted every kind of harrasment a woman has to undergo in a mere 2 hour script. You go to a multi national company and you find educated people passing snide indirect remarks on the character of a woman employee if they find she is climbing the ladder of success better and faster than them. And amazingly these are not just men. You go at a party and you find people judging you by the length and the width of your smile. You get on the roads and you find men sneering and whistling and teasing and making derogatory remarks and then there is always rape, molestation, honor killing and blah blah blah.

What awed me about the movie is the fact that mere one enraged woman wrecked lives of four men. She knew her strength is not going to work, so she chose brains, she chose endurance, she chose persistence. In a society where public toilets, bus stops, tree trunks have "Raand Saali" engraved on them, where 70 year old men talk freely about having a 25year old woman on their beds, this movie is a horrific depiction of the gross facts of the society we live in. What moved me to tears is the transformation of a pretty young loving girl into an emotionless expressionless avenger. Giving back what she got , jo karna tha so karna tha.

"Jaha bijli pani nahi aata, vaha desh ka kanoon kaha se ayega" - is such a gruesome truth that one cannot ignore. And what is at the end of it all - Mati ka Palang. 

Marriage Uh Ohh !!

My Mom kept asking me why was I so skeptical about getting married. Although I always came up with various arguments, she kept pestering me and with her indomitable Mommy spirit always behind me, I took my first step and registered on a reputed matrimonial website a few days back. Proposals poured in but nothing that caught my attention until I got this one – (see the screenshot) and I saved it so that I could get a good laugh when I felt morose.

This one awed me for various reasons. The presuppositions of this groom’s mother about a girl, with whom her son is going to spend his life, wonder me to an extent that I had to share this. I would also like to share my reply to this preposterous proposal. (The phone numbers and the name have been hidden for obvious reasons). I would have loved to share the groom’s photo as well but I do not wish to (1) put anyone into embarrassing situation and; (2) kill people of laughter.

My reply –

1)      Apart from noticing the wrong spelling of the word “seperate”, I also noticed that you hold a completely wrong notion about today’s girl. We do not get married with the sole intention of separating a son from his parents. We intend to respect and care for our husbands’ parents as much as we respect and care for our own because we have been raised with basic principles of dignity and honor.  We also expect mutual respect and if that is not given, we are educated enough to find our own ways of putting stuff in place. And not to mention, if your sons oblige to our insistence then you sure got to think about the way you brought them up.

2)      Again apart from noticing the “differance” of opinion that we have in this point, I also noticed that you do not seem to be very keen on incorporating healthy changes in your ways of life. I do not urge anyone to follow and understand the way I have lived my life for 30-some years in my own home, but if I bring about some positive change in yours and you bring about some positive change in me, then I only think that is a good bargain. A good way of giving and taking the good amongst us, so that we become better than what we are. What is so wrong with that?

3)      No dignified woman would like a “ghar-jamai” husband. I do not even intend to ask anyone (even if that person is my husband), to help my parents in any way. He helps them or he doesn’t, I do not judge him by that. I judge him by the way he supports me when I support them. My parents’ are my sole responsibility and when it comes to them, there wouldn’t be any compromise, because they have raised me with the same effort that you have raised your son, maybe more than that. So I don’t expect help from your son, NEVER, I just expect a matured understanding human being. (I can no longer point out spelling mistakes.. M kinda tired !!)

4)      And I cannot agree more to this point. Why did you ever think that any woman in this world could substitute my Mother? And what made you ever think that I have a “fantacy” like that? Let me let you know that I would never give my Mother’s place to anyone. She is and always will be my 1^st priority. What I expect from you, is to know and understand this one universal truth of my life.

5)      I don’t know what makes you think that Indian girls today don’t like “kunku” and “mangalsootra”.  We are as Indians as you are. We love those gorgeous accessories that are so involved in an Indian marriage. We would gracefully adorn them and make them a part of our appearance permanently. But then, what is so wrong with making them fashion statements? We are educated girls, working in multi-national corporate environment, where we require being presentable all the time. And even if we are not working, what is so wrong with being mere presentable? If the attire doesn’t look good with a kumkum or a bindi, what is so wrong with not wearing it? Would we become single again if we don’t wear it? Does wearing a mangalsootra and a dot on my forehead make me your daughter in law, or does the house, the family, the festivals, the relation that we share make me that? I would not be your son’s wife because I wear all this; I would be his wife because I would feel like being. And that feeling is going to matter till the end. Although let me tell you, your son just lost his chance.

6)      I guess you are little weak in your numbers like you are with your spellings. ‘Coz you just missed the number “6”. Probably you left the Hindi version of it for your son, if you get what I mean – Pun totally intended.

7)      Between two individuals who have decided to live their lives together, I do not believe in the concept of insults. I know there can be fights and some shouting and most of the times I agree they have to be kept within. But there can be times when the fights get intense (I am just being real) and sometimes they go to such an extent that they might find their way out of the walls of the rooms; and these are the times when parents and relatives are supposed to work the matters out. After all isn’t that what friends, relatives and parents are for? Not to increase the bitterness but to help two upset people calm down and sort things.

8)      Oh!! Finally my prospective mother-in-law (who just missed the opportunity of having an awesome daughter-in-law) makes a point that I completely agree upon. Wealth can never be basis of any relationship. What makes a marriage a marriage, is two equal individuals, who bring their own set of values and principles, hear out what each other have to say, help each other in overcoming weaknesses and make better humans out of each other.

To conclude, I think you took your profession (Law) a little too personally. I now know why the “in-law” thing scares girls all over the world so much. Reading your laws of marriage, makes me cringe on the way you must have brought up your son. When I look at him in this photo, I feel nothing but pity. Let me also point out one typical trait of my personality – I don’t offend anyone, unless provoked. But you must thank your luck! You have just been saved! J

The balance we all seek....

It's a roller coaster - this life. You don't know at all, the turns it would take and the heights it would climb upon and fall from; you just have to ensure your safety belts are on. If you choose not to wear them, be sure your reflexes are strong enough to grab the sides the moment it takes a wild unpredictable turn; if you fail, you are either mortally wounded or dead. Clutching too hard to the sides doesn't let you have fun and loosening the grip frightens you to death. It's the middle of these two that all of us seek. And the one who finds it, lives. 

The child within me....

When I was about five or six, I loved behaving like an adult. I stole Mamma’s lipstick and roamed around with her purse on my shoulder, pretending to go to office and getting tired and coming home and what not. I loved to be useful and responsible, never knowing the real meanings of these. I just couldn't wait to grow up. And now when I have grown up, I don’t know how to go back.

Where my bag used to be filled with books and papers and pencils and loads and loads of mischief, today my bags are full with documents and files and laptops and notes and loads and loads of work. Where I could be friends easily even with the butterflies in the garden, today I find it difficult to even acknowledge a person sitting next to me. Where a deep night’s sleep was an everyday affair, today sleep is just a formality.

I miss my lovely self. The little innocent smile, eyes full of sparkle, little feet running around and creating a ruckus, messed up hair and palms smudged in dirt. No fear of falling, no knowledge of death, not knowing what winning or losing means so nothing to be afraid of. Saying sorry and thank you was so easy then. Because I didn't know what the big “E” of “Ego” means. No judgments, no opinions.

I miss me. I miss that little thing that imitated adults but didn't really have to bear all the responsibilities. I miss the time when going wrong and making mistakes was okay and not a very big deal – the time when my only priority was me.

None of us can go back to where we came from. But we still have something that can be amended - today. None of us can look and predict and define the events of the next day. But we can see – today.

Let us all look into the mirror and venture deep into our eyes, to find out the small child in us who still loves to live today. Let’s grab that favorite chocolate, candy, ice cream and cake. Let’s look at the bird out there and smile. Let’s hear the sparrow chirp and try chirping with it. Let us be unafraid to let people know that we love them. Let us be easy with the “sorry” and the “thank you”.

Hoping and wishing that all of us find the child from within us and let it be there for as long as we breathe, because life is easy if we take it easy.

Yes !! I am a GIRL !!

I am a GIRL. Yes i am a GIRL..Born in this country; brought up with values of respect, dignity, love, nurture, sympathy and integrity.

As the year ends, the voices of the endless "me"s, I hear. I hear the "me", who was aborted in the womb; then the "me", who was shot at point blank range for standing up for what was right; then the "me", who was raped by those six in the middle of the night, they thought they were being "men"; then the "me", who was manhandled at that temple, just because I wasn't moving faster in the queue; then the "me" who was harassed and tortured by a certain boss at a certain workplace; a "me" who was burnt alive by my own people; a "me" who was taken advantage of and left in the middle of nowhere; a "me" who was assaulted for merely being "me"; and many more such "me"s. I hear them all, loud and clear. I have heard them cry. I have heard them shout for help. I have heard them screaming. Now I hear them walking. Silently. I hear their feet and I hear their souls. Like words don't matter anymore. Like enough was said but not enough was done. I see them vigilant, I see them stronger than ever. They are all a bunch of "me"s. N we are moving steadily towards all of those "you"s who have taken us for granted. Those who felt we can be victimized; you better know that we have decided to stop playing a victim. We have decided to stop being harassed and subdued and tortured and played with and taken advantage of. We have decided to stop dying.

The next time you touch me without my consent, I will not draw my hands back. I will ensure your hands are ripped apart, so that you do not even think of doing that ever again. The next time you tell me I can't do something just because I am me, I will ensure that I do it right in front of you, so that never again would you underestimate my power. The next time you grope me or try to assault me physically, I will let you see my strength and make you go down on your knees and beg for mercy. The next time you shout at me or try to take me for granted, I will make sure my voice reaches its highest decibels so that never ever you use your power against me. The next time you try burning me alive, I will ensure that I rise from my ashes and destroy your existence to its core. The next time you play with my soul or body, I will make sure you do that for the last time with anyone.

This New Year I pledge to bring out the strong, powerful, undeterred and fearless "me" - the survivor "me". In today's times, when the saviours fail to save, when the legal and judicial system ridicule, when my own family abandons and leaves me homeless, when my parents decide to kill me even before I come in this world, when my companions stab me deep, when I am treated like a no one - I will show the world who I am. I will not back down. I was brought to existence by the Almighty with a heart full of love, to spread joy and hope amongst the hopeless, to be a ray of sunshine. But just remember, the rays come from a fireball - you try to suppress me and I will explode - and the destruction thereafter would be just a consequence.

All the "me"s out there - let's pledge to survive. Beat all odds and triumph

.‪#PledgeToSurvive